Manchester City are stuck in a weird moment of Premier League history, perched in the purgatory between verdict and sanction.

The latest reports suggest the “most likely” punishment to befall City for their financial chicanery (appeal pending) is a “swingeing” (it means ‘very big’) points deduction that would effectively guarantee relegation from the top flight.

Interestingly, there are supposedly no relegation clauses in any City players’ contracts, which will surely make for some awkward conversations with agents in the coming weeks and months if that sanction does come to pass. Still, it’s near-impossible to imagine Erling Haaland and Rayan Cherki slumming it in the EFL next season and City’s biggest names will already be planning their emergency exit routes.

Next summer could then feature the biggest exodus of top-level players from one club in a single transfer window since Juventus lost the likes of Zlatan Ibrahimović, Fabio Cannavaro, Patrick Vieira, Lilian Thuram and more in the summer of 2006 post Calciopoli.

But where could City’s top stars end up? Allow us to play match maker.

Gianluigi Donnarumma

Bayern Munich are probably the only super-club in need of an elite keeper in the near future, with 40-year-old Manuel Neuer’s contract set to expire next summer. Start tailoring some extra long lederhosen for next Oktoberfest now.

Ruben Dias

A quality center back fast approaching his fourth decade? Sounds like a dream signing for Inter Milan, who can get the band back together alongside Manuel Akanji and John Stones.

Marc Guehi

Is Liverpool too obvious? With Virgil van Dijk’s contract up next summer it would make sense to dust off the signing posts the social media team quietly archived last year.

Josko Gvardiol

Barcelona have been near-faultless in 2026–27, but one (very) minor gripe is over the defensive depth. Adding a top-level operator like Gvardiol strengthens both the left back and center back positions.

Nico O’Reilly

Nobody hoards Man City academy graduates like Chelsea. It’s destiny.

Elliot Anderson

Putting aside the possibility of a sentimental homecoming to Newcastle, soft-centered Liverpool could really use a midfield enforcer of this calibre.

Ayyoub Bouaddi

Has anyone ever felt more PSG?

Rayan Cherki

Well, actually yes they have and it’s Rayan Cherki. PSG double dip.

Enzo Fernandez

There are vanishingly few landing spots for a player like Fernández in today’s market. The box-crashing midfielder famously told some YouTubers he’d love to live in Madrid, while Real Madrid took the odd step of publicly ruling out a transfer last summer.

Fernández (smartly) didn’t specify which club in Spain’s capital city, however. A move to Atlético Madrid might be the best option to save him from a fate of feeding Ivan Toney in the Saudi Pro League.

Phil Foden

🎶 I will go down with this ship... 🎶

Foden stays.

Jérémy Doku

Doku has all the jinky, darty, end product-y ingredients Arsenal seem to be missing in attack, and would be an ideal statement signing for the defending Premier League champions.

Ilman Ndiaye

Like that episode of The Simpsons where the real Seymour Skinnner turns up, we simply pretend none of this ever happened: straight back to Everton. No questions asked.

Antoine Semenyo

Unai Emery could definitely use more quality wide options to take his Aston Villa side to the next level after the summer’s fire sale... That is if they can eat the wages without veering perilously towards their own financial issues.

Erling Haaland

Barcelona or Real Madrid? How about a one-off Clásico playoff to decide, with the 6'5" Norwegian perched coquettishly on a plinth in place of a trophy?

In truth, Madrid surely can’t fit another superstar forward into their locker room as much as Florentino Pérez loves to play Galáctico Tetris with his roster. Barcelona did want a striker this summer—until Raphinha morphed into prime Ronaldo.

In the event that neither are actually interested: Can I interest you in an emotional homecoming to Leeds United, Erling?