YES, some of you have flipped straight to the back page without reading all of the lovely news articles about triathlon-winning teachers and romantasy bookshops – because you want to know what I have to say about Arsenal’s defeat to Fleetwood Town (somewhere near Blackpool) this week.

Slight hitch! I’ve been advised by a roomful of lawyers that these thoughts must remain blacked out in this week’s issue due to excess profanity and a potential libel risk, even though I quite reasonably say, after watching this, that [redacted].

Just think, people paid good money to train and tram it up north and yet were left having to see [redacted].

So, I’m afraid we can’t talk about the thing you want me talk about. I would do, but – lawyers.

Let’s instead talk about the fact Saturday was Invincibles Day. The pumpkin lanterns for Halloween have yet to be lit, and not a single rocket has been launched for Guy Fawkes, and yet already every team in the Premier League has registered at least one defeat. Like the mince pies already welcoming you into Sainsbury’s, it seems to get earlier every year and just goes to show why Arsene Wenger’s extra special league champions really were the best the country has ever seen.

Talking of all-timers, we can note – without need for redaction – Harry Kane’s Ballon d’Or trophy success. You must not listen to those who say that he never seems to quite turn up in big international tournaments for England or that Bayern Munich would win the Bundesliga every year even if they hadn’t signed him and that he’s not the difference which decides a poor German league. I say he’s scored a lot of goals, won all his medals away from Spurs and seems like a nice guy. Yeah, go on then, you can keep that line in.