Harry Kane will definitely turn his nose up at ‘volatile’ Spurs because it is easy to see where Manchester United will be in six months’ time.

And Morgan Rogers is coming for another England spot.

Ask a simple question…
‘Harry Kane is waiting for ‘perfect situation’ before return – could Man Utd now provide it?’ – Daily Mirror website.

‘No’ – Mediawatch.

Kane you believe it?
Ah, sod it. We’re here now so go on: how do relegation zone occupiers Manchester United represent the ‘perfect situation’ for the current best player in world football, who has just signed a new contract with the Bundesliga leaders who are in a strong Champions League position?

Hopefully we have some more absolutely massive hints that he is desperate to leave Bayern Munich to reunite with a manger he last played for in 2019.

‘A return to the Premier League, where Kane is just 47 goals short of eclipsing Alan Shearer as the outright leading scorer, is still viable even with the striker committing himself to Bayern until 2029 earlier this month. As does another crack at the domestic title that eluded him during some of Tottenham’s finest days.’

That makes no sense. And not just because if Kane wants ‘another crack’ at the Premier League title, he’s probably better off joining a team which has won it – or even just come close at any point – in the last 13 years.

It is phenomenal work from Dan Marsh to dismiss the option of going back to Spurs as ‘more romantic than realistic’, before talking up the idea of Kane joining a team seven places lower, with far more restrictions – both self-imposed and otherwise – in the transfer market.

Marsh is at least across that…

‘After all, Tottenham may be better off in terms of league position but few would deem them to be in significantly better health than United, even in their current state. After all, six months ago Spurs only narrowly escaped relegation on the 38th and final league outing of their 2025-26 campaign. And with results under Roberto De Zerbi largely proving to be as volatile as their incumbent head coach, it’s anybody’s guess as to where Tottenham will find themselves in six months time.’

Manchester United, of course, are an entirely known quantity and it is certain where a team which finds itself 18th after finishing 3rd and 15th in the last two seasons will end up.

Michael Carrick was the best manager of the Premier League’s form team six months ago. Manchester United are every bit as ‘volatile’ as Spurs, if not far more so.

There is an admittance that ‘Kane isn’t going anywhere right now,’ but Mediawatch is not sure about the following line:

‘In terms of which is the more likely to reach that level over the next couple of years, if this is still the Pochettino of old, then you would feel safer backing him over De Zerbi and Spurs.’

It does feel like option c) of honouring the new Bayern Munich contract which makes him the continent’s best-paid player, and winning yet more individual and team trophies for the rest of his career, is being overlooked slightly in favour of what is basically a choice between which pile of manure smells the least bad.

And the reason is you
The Daily Mirror website, elsewhere, promises the ‘Brutal reason Man Utd finally sacked Carrick as Monaco meeting details emerge’.

It turns out the people responsible for recruitment and squad composition ‘concluded that the squad at his disposal is far superior to what their current league standing would suggest’.

Is ‘brutal’ a synonym for ‘obvious’ now?

Taking the Michael
This seems similarly brutal/obvious from Richard Moriarty in The Sun:

‘Despite knowing he was going to lose his job, Carrick continued to go into United’s Carrington training base during the international break to coach the remaining members of the squad.’

Insert Alan Partridge shrug GIF here.

Revelation of the day
‘SunSport understands captain Bruno Fernandes was one of the senior stars who preferred Carrick’s style of play during his caretaker stint.’

It’s the sort of insight only an insider is privy to.

Buk keeping
Finally, some surprising and sensational news for Bukayo Saka: Craig Hope reckons Morgan Rogers is coming for his England spot.

“It was Rogers who was the pick in terms of those attacking players,” he says in one of his deeply unsettling Daily Mail vlogs. “He’s taken in that good form from Chelsea.

“You can see he’s playing with belief and a little bit of swagger at the moment, and from the off he was trying things. It was no surprise when it was he who got the opener.”

Rogers playing with ‘swagger’, is it? Careful, Bukayo. Maybe don’t reject any interview requests for the next few weeks, fella. You don’t want to be accused of having an ‘intimidatory ego’.

“And Rogers can make that right-wing spot his own. We might ordinarily think that belongs to Bukayo Saka, but there’s questions now about Saka in terms of that durability.

“I think Saka’s played a lot of football from a young age, and I do just wonder…I remember coming out of the World Cup and I had to give my starting XI, what I thought it would be for Euro ’28, I didn’t have Saka in it. That’s nothing to do with ability, he’s a wonderful player, but I do just begin to question now, how robust he is.

“I think I had Rio Ngumoha in England’s starting XI for Euro ’28.”

He certainly did. England have played five games since, with Rogers starting two of them (and Saka the other three), so the durable Chelsea man is in.

“I’ll change that; I think Morgan Rogers can play there. You did look at him and wonder – talented player, might just miss out in his preferred No.10 given the brilliance of Bellingham, but yeah, Tuchel’s found a place for him.”

Considering how the last player Hope tipped to be replaced by Rogers subsequently responded, one might expect Saka to become undeniably, irrefutably undroppable.