We were promised goals!

4 min: The first chance for Kayode to throw in long from the right. Whee! Thiago gets in Martinez’s way, but Rogers intercepts before the striker can get to the dropping ball and clears. “If Brentford are, as their fans like to remind others, just a ‘bus stop in Hounslow’, then it’s surely wise to have their ground located beside a cemetery, given most people’s experience with London buses. As for Chelsea? They’re the Pensioners. They’re hardly going to play beside a maternity hospital, now are they?” Justin Kavanagh answering Peter Oh’s pre-match query, ladies and gentlemen. He’s here all week. Try the Fuller’s.

The teams are out! Brentford wear their new red and white striped shirts with honey and black collars. They’ll be wearing those for two seasons, so hats off to them for maintaining that fan-friendly convention. Chelsea meanwhile give a competitive debut to their second-choice black tops which, the promotional copy insists, are a celebration of the “Italian Renaissance … of their transformative 1990s era”. A period during which their change shirts were, if memory serves, usually either yellow, white or that grey-and-orange Coors monstrosity. There was once an advert in Viz for vegetarian sausages made from 100 percent meat. The tagline was something along the lines of: we don’t know how they’re vegetarian, they just are. Well, that.

Anyway, I digress. We’ll be off in a couple of minutes. Buckle in!

Pre-match postbag. “To double down on the introductory theme, every bookie quoting a price on there being at least seven goals in the match has that as more likely than a 0-0. Seven!” – David Howell

“I don’t usually set much store by xG, but tonight’s game features a contrast in set-piece efficiency. Brentford have generated 2.34 xG from set pieces (second in the league) but managed just one actual goal. On the other hand, Chelsea have created a much lower 1.5 xG, but turned it into four goals (first in the league). Let’s see if the data catches up with either team tonight” – Andrew Goudie

“Brentford have no defence at centre-back. Offensively, Brentford have to be on the front foot, around Chelsea’s box like a swarm of Bees” – AnhTuan Nguyen Huynh

“Not being familiar with London I was curious about how long it takes to get from Stamford Bridge to the Brentford Community Stadium. A popular map app tells me that it’s only a 30-minute drive, or two-hour walk. I couldn’t help but notice that both stadiums are adjacent to cemeteries. Is this intriguing juxtaposition just coincidence or could there be more to it? Efficiencies in hiring groundskeeping staff? Season tickets for eternity?” – Peter Oh

As Alonso departs, the Sky microphone is passed, relay-baton style, to Keith Andrews of Brentford, who is first asked about Mamadou Sangaré. “You’ve obviously done a bit of preparation ready for him starting! … he’s done brilliantly, settled in so well … it isn’t easy in this league … but [Yehor Yarmolyuk] has been excellent, [Vitaly Janelt] has been excellent, we’ve got other midfielders … I’ve no doubt Mamadou will feature heavily tonight … we’re in a decent rhythm … I’ve no doubt [Igor Thiago’s first Premier League goal of the season] is coming, hopefully it’s tonight.”

Brentford make two changes to the side sent out to face Bournemouth last weekend. Mikkel Damsgaard and Michael Kayode take the places of Aaron Hickery and Mamadou Sangaré, who are on the bench tonight.

Chelsea make five changes following the draw with Hull City. Jordan Henderson makes his first appearance for the Blues on his old stomping ground, while Danny Welbeck, Valentín Barco and Pep Chavarría make their full Premier League debuts. Maxence Lacroix is also in. Roméo Lavia and Malo Gusto drop to the bench, while João Pedro, Jorrel Hato and Reece James sit this one out altogether.

Brentford: Kelleher, Kayode, Schuster, Ajer, Lewis-Potter, Yarmolyuk, Janelt, Anthony, Damsgaard, Schade, Thiago.
Subs: Balcombe, Hickey, Henry, Ouattara, Wilson, Carvalho, Sangare, Diouf, Fredrick.

Chelsea: Martinez, Fofana, Lacroix, Colwill, Pedro Neto, Henderson, Barco, Chavarria, Palmer, Rogers, Welbeck.
Subs: Penders, Bynoe-Gittens, Hato, Quenda, Gusto, Nicoll-Jazuli, Acheampong, Estevao, Lavia.