No surprise to see Manchester United dominating the news agenda as they prepare for a gruelling fortnight where nothing else significant will be happening to distract people from the fact they are in the relegation zone.

Much of the focus for now falls inevitably on Michael Carrick and the world-record levels of beleaguering he is currently experiencing, with all manner of bold solutions put forward to help United get over what ails them.

You bet
A fascinating little example of how football rumours can spread and expand from quite literally nothing is to be found in Mauricio Pochettino’s sudden emergence among the favourites for the Man United job, should Michael Carrick get the boot.

The stories are everywhere with, as is so often the case, the Reach lads leading the charge.

There’s the MEN, curiosity-gapping the former Spurs and Chelsea gaffer in textbook fashion:

Man United LIVE: Michael Carrick sack meeting as high-profile manager ‘becomes new favourite’

The Mirror choose to name him and don’t even bother with the cowardice of sky commas as they assert his status on United’s shortlist as fact.

Michael Carrick future LIVE: Man Utd sack latest as Mauricio Pochettino becomes fifth target

The Evening Standard go with a straighter but still excitable:

Mauricio Pochettino favourite to be next Man Utd manager as Michael Carrick sack decision looms

And yet… not one of these stories contains any substance whatsoever.

The whole thing is based entirely on the bookies, where ‘next manager’ markets are notoriously volatile and enormously prone to good money following bad.

It can take very little for a 33/1 outsider to become a 12/1 third favourite, and from there a plunge can become self-fulfilling and self-perpetuating very, very quickly. Especially once you start getting ‘media reports’ that are themselves nothing more than part of the same initial circle-jerk of nonsense.

The ‘news’ that Pochettino is now favourite for the United job even headlines Sky Sports’ Paper Talk. Despite the papers having provided absolutely no information at all that isn’t available from a quick glance at an Oddschecker grid.

This isn’t to say there’s definitely nothing in the idea of Pochettino finally turning up at Manchester United, in accordance with the prophecy. But there’s a distinct and obvious lack of any something at this point despite all the noise.

Happy 18th
As the Daily Express demand Michael Carrick is axed (possible) along with eight Manchester United players (trickier), they make this bold claim.

It is a squad with gaping holes but their comebacks in the last two matches show there are clearly some ingredients there.

They very clearly aren’t the 18th-worst team in this league.

Clearly. Can’t argue with that right now. But, to be fair, they did end up being the 18th-worst team last season with the same manager and an awful lot of the same ingredients.

Magnificent seven
Elsewhere in their esteemed pages, the Express have a novel solution to United’s current malaise.

Man Utd can replace Michael Carrick with seven managers after Aston Villa shambles

Sorry, but this is a terrible idea. Mediawatch humbly suggests that this is simply far too many managers. United are fools to even consider it. They should replace Carrick with one manager.

Little joke for you there. That’s not what they mean is it! We all know that don’t we!

Although one of the seven managers listed is Unai Emery, who is very clear he doesn’t want the job, while another member of this magnificent seven is Gareth Southgate, who doesn’t appear to want any football management job. So we do wonder about just how much heavy lifting that ‘can’ is doing.

Antics roadshow
The Sun have identified the real source of United’s woes, though, in what they dub ‘post-match antics’.

THE LAST LAP ‘This just can’t go on’ – Gary Neville fears Man Utd ‘causing themselves emotional damage’ with post-match antics

Mediawatch has some time for Gary Neville’s view that putting themselves through a lap of Old Trafford applauding the very angry United fans after every catastrophe might not be the best idea for the United players’ self-esteem at this troubled time. But we’re not sure we’re willing to accept that ‘applauding the fans who spend vast sums of money to watch some very sh*t football’ qualifies as ‘antics’ of any kind.

If it truly is antics you’re looking for with Manchester United at this time, may we put forward their in-match antics for consideration?

Run out
The focus is very much elsewhere at this time, but Mediawatch notes and accepts that things are not going swimmingly for Chelsea and new boss Xabi Alonso right now after a pretty p*ss-poor defeat at previously misery-bound Sunderland.

We’re not having this, though, from The Sun.

Sunderland 1 Chelsea 0: Brobbey’s controversial penalty incident sees Blues go into international break on losing run

Can one match be a ‘losing run’? We don’t think it can. They did beat Manchester United in their previous game, which might not mean what it once did but definitely still counts. They even managed to hold on to a two-goal lead in stoppage time to do it. We fear we must insist that multiple games need to be involved for anything to become a ‘run’.

But let’s also give credit to in-form Sunderland, who now go into the international break on a winning run.

Wrath justice
The tabloids’ ongoing fascination with Dele doing Twitch streaming to keep himself busy continues, with this breathless Daily Mail headline the latest.

Dele Alli risks the wrath of Spurs fans as he wears an ARSENAL shirt on livestream – with ex-Tottenham star livid after losing bet to influencer iShowSpeed

Does he, though? Does he risk the wrath of Spurs fans for wearing an ARSENAL shirt? One of the problems the Mail’s penchant for headlines the length of the average short story presents is that all too often they give the game away before they’ve even got your click. And it’s right there: ‘after losing bet’.

He lost a friendly wager, and wearing an Arsenal – sorry, ARSENAL – shirt was the hilarious forfeit. This is just incredibly bog-standard lad banter, and even in these troubled times of performative outrage, entirely understood as such by all.

Anyone who’s ever been on a stag do automatically understands the dynamics here. The whole point is that it’s a punishment, and Dele looks suitably uncomfortable and ostentatiously distressed throughout his time in Arsenal colours.

Far from incurring the wrath – and we really do think that should have been WRATH, standards are slipping – this should, if anything, only confirm to Spurs fans what he still thinks of their club. Something we already knew anyway because the last time Dele returned to the tabloid consciousness was when bantering off John Terry after Spurs’ win at Stamford Bridge.

But do you know the real reason we know for absolute certain that Dele has not in fact at all risked/incurred the wrath of Spurs fans? Even here, in a story based entirely on one social-media streaming site and filled out by reactions from other social-media sites, not one of them is from a wrath-filled Spurs fan.