How does Michael Carrick explain the wild oscillations, the bipolar disorder of this team and this stadium?

Imagine the world without Manchester United. What other institution on this corrupted and demoralised planet still brings so much joy to so many? The 4-4 against Aston Villa delighted nearly everybody – both the United crowd who sang their Michael Carrick song in honour of another comeback, and the many United haters around the world, who smile to see them in the relegation zone after 10 matches.

The only exceptions to the general happiness were Aston Villa and their coach, Unai Emery. You can’t feel too good when you are two goals up in the 91st minute and still don’t win. Emery was annoyed enough to refer to the draw as “this defeat”.

It’s an open secret that United would appoint Emery if they could and Villa have been threatening to sue the likes of Jamie Carragher for saying it would be a logical career move for their coach.

They have since moved to secure Emery on a longer and much-improved contract, which would reduce the obvious financial incentive to make the move. It’s not that the money will make much difference to Emery, but in football money is a proxy for respect. Emery is expected to sign this week.

So: is there something wrong with him? Who is he to go against the unwritten law of football that says if a bigger club comes for you, it is a kind of professional humiliation not to answer the call?

Considering Emery’s dilemma this weekend it’s hard not to think of Dana White, who has been offered the position of White House press secretary by US president Donald Trump. As chief executive and frontman of the UFC, White already has a job that fits his skill set and pays pretty well. While the potential new job would undoubtedly boost his profile, it comes with certain risks that have to be considered.

In UFC-world, if a journalist asks an annoying question, which doesn’t happen often, White simply abuses them, for example by calling them a pussy. Would that be equally effective against veteran news reporters from the New York Times or Washington Post? It’s one thing insisting that Power Slap is a safe and respectable sport. It’s another justifying the Iran war.

Emery has proven himself a top coach in the context of several sensibly-run football clubs. He is totally unproven as a circus impresario. As the match kicked off at Old Trafford last night, the fans ran through a repertoire of chants against the owners and executives Emery could theoretically be working for. It’s hard to listen to the fans at a United game and expect the likes of Jason Wilcox and Omar Berrada will be there much longer. Do you want to be the last guy they appointed?

Villa were 2-0 up inside 3½ minutes – the fastest United have ever been 2-0 down in the Premier League. United got back into the game with a penalty and, for the second time in five days, Bruno Fernandes’ goal turned the Old Trafford crowd from doubters to believers.

The siege that followed was remarkable, United peppering Villa’s goal, the visitors all over the place. How could they ever have led 2-0? When Youri Tielemans equalised just before half-time United looked certain to go on and win.

And that is precisely the thing they cannot handle. They began the second half with a frenzy of self-sabotage, Diogo Dalot giving away a ridiculous penalty, then Leny Yoro laying on a fourth for Villa by heading powerfully at his own goal.

Again Carrick was looking on with the tragic dignity of a doomed Antarctic explorer who has just eaten his boots. Dalot’s substitution was greeted with vicious cheers from the crowd.

Yet once Joshua Zirkzee had scored to make it 3-4 and reignite Old Trafford’s dormant energy, an equaliser felt almost inevitable.

How does Carrick explain the wild oscillations, the bipolar disorder of this team and this stadium? “Moments” was his word of the day. He told Sky: “It’s just moments that we need to tighten up on.” He repeated this in the press conference. “It’s moments that are really causing us the problem.”

“Moments”, obviously, is not any kind of answer, just a restatement of the question. It’s as though you were asked “why are you conceding so many goals?” and answered “because we are conceding a lot of goals”. And they are – no team in the top five leagues has let in more than the 30 United have conceded in 15 matches so far this season.

The actual question is: why do these moments keep happening? Carrick does not know. United fans who believe that actually he does understand what is going wrong, and simply prefers not to share that knowledge with reporters, should reflect that if that were true, we would probably have seen some evidence of it in the team’s performances by now.

Again and again, United do not look seriously prepared to face this level of competition. They beat Roma during the week with another Old Trafford-inspired comeback, but the first-half performance was shockingly inept. They simply appeared to have no idea how to deal with Roma’s man-to-man pressing, which was a surprise, since Roma’s coach Gian Piero Gasperini has been playing that way for many years.

Superior talent got them back into that game, but they should never have been made to look so inadequate by a team that cost one-third as much in transfer fees. Even superior talent could not help against Como. Their starting XI cost one-seventh as much as United’s, but they are brilliantly coached by Cesc Fàbregas.

Manchester United are not in the relegation zone after 10 matches because of “moments”. Just as United fans wouldn’t accept that level of nonsense from a big-name manager like Mourinho or van Gaal, they should not accept it from one of their own.