A long ball forward from Wales and Torbjorn Heggem is ponderous as he retreats. Dan James, lightning fast, nips in to steal the ball and is hauled to the ground. Heggem is last man, has to go!

My apologies to Idah, it was he that got the flick on for Parrott for the Republic of Ireland’s first goal, not Moylan. I cannot really do justice to how good Parrott’s goal is: when he controlled the flick on, the Real Betis striker literally threw up his hands as if to say ‘where’s the support, lads?’ Spoiler, there was no support, so Parrott did it all on his own. Setting off from just inside Austria’s half, he beat three defenders (including a cheeky nutmeg) and finished like Prime Luis Suárez.

Obviously his goal against Hungary was more dramatic/important/iconic, but in terms of technical quality, I genuinely think that has a shout as the best Republic of Ireland goal of all time! Houghton’s thunderbastard against England aside.

You’ll notice from those half-time scores that Greece have doubled their lead against Netherlands. Ruben van Bommel, son of Belgium manager Mark, plays a dreadful backpass which acts as a through ball for Greece. Ioannidis is onto it in a flash, reaches the byline and plays a square pass to Masouras, who steers the ball past Verbruggen from close range.

This is a very good Greece side, by the way, but also a particularly underwhelming Dutch era. Xavi has quite the job on his hands before Euro 2028.

Ramos on fire! An assist and now a goal! This is not pretty viewing for Ronaldo, who must be sitting at home, while Jorge Jesus looks entirely vindicated in selecting the Milan striker ahead of CR7. Nuno Mendes breaks forward from left back – he’ll do that – plays the ball into Ramos’ feet. Ramos backheels it to Fernandes, expertly, and then gets on his bike, bursting into space. Fernandes plays a beautiful first-time return ball to send Ramos through and the striker finishes with ease at the near post. Corrrrrrrr, we’ve seen some goals tonight, I tell you!

Parrott has morphed into Robbie Keane/Diego Maradona and scored an absolutely sensational solo goal! Route One stuff from the Republic of Ireland as Kelleher hoofs it to Moylan. The Cardiff City winger flicks it on to Parrott, who collects it, completely isolated, about 45 yards from goal. Parrott then just sets off. He turns his first man easily, swiftly nutmegging Lienhart. Austria are now in trouble, scrambling to get back as Parrott approaches the area. Will he turn back for support? Will he eff! Parrott chops back on the outside, around Affengruber, and finishes low under the advancing Austrian keeper Wiegele! WHAT A GOAL! Genuinely a goal of the season contender. That is absolutely outstanding.

4 min: Denmark 0-0 Portugal

Looks like it is actually Bruno Fernandes who has the armband in lieu of Ronaldo, not Ruben Dias. Portugal are wearing their away kit, that gross white and green number, with Denmark obviously in their red.

“Ronaldo’s obsession with getting 1,000 goals is exactly why he shouldn’t be given the opportunity to get them,” emails Dave Estherby. “Ten Hag saw through him four years ago just as Jesus has now. Hopefully Big Ange [Postecoglou, at Al-Nassr] has the stones Martinez clearly lacked and elbows him too; parading about like a show pony in a vain attempt at a personal milestone at the expense of your team’s success is about as bad as it gets. No doubt he’ll be giving a sob story on Piers Morgan next week.”

Republic of Ireland (3-4-2-1): Kelleher, Scales, O’Shea, Egan, Manning, Coventry, Azaz, Abankwah, Moylan, Idah, Parrott.

Austria (4-2-3-1): Wiegele, Mwene, Lienhart, Affengruber, Posch, Schlager, Seiwald, Schmid, Chukwuemeka, Wimmer, Kalajdzic.

Greece (4-4-2): Tzolakis, Tsimikas, Retsos, Mavropanos, Saliakas, Tzolis, Androutsos, Kourbelis, Karetsas, Ioannidis, Pavlidis.

Netherlands (4-3-3): Verbruggen, Van de Ven, Van Dijk, Timber, Dumfries, Timber, Til, Veerman, Van Bommel, Meerdink, Summerville.

“Ronaldo is a Gulfstream Jet celebrity who feels a sense of entitlement bordering on megalomania,” emails Gary Stover. “Yet, he has a saving grace. He actually wants to play for his country. John Terry said that he played with varying degrees of injury in all but about five of his 717 appearances in all competitions. Now it seems that some players are ready to find excuses not to play for their countries.”

Not sure we should be holding up John Terry as the good guy, but go off, Gary.

Germany (4-1-2-3): Urbig, Mittelstädt, Thiaw, Anton, Treu, Pavlovic, Wirtz, Bischof, Scherhant, Woltemade, Gnabry.
Subs: Jeltsch, Engelhardt, El Mala, Burkardt, Dahmen, Baur, Karl, Baku, Conte, Atubolu, Raum, Janelt.

Serbia (4-4-2): Petrovic, Babic, Gudelj, Erakovic, Nedeljkovic, Kostic, Dzodic, Maksimovic, Zivkovic, Tadic, Jović.
Subs: Pavlovic, Mimovic, A Stankovic, Joeljic, F Stankovic, Simic, Terzic, Cvetkovic, Kostov, Samardzic, Lukic, Milinkovic-Savic.

Pressure is on for Klopp, who if Germany fail to win tonight, would become the first manager of the national team to go winless in his first three matches. Jonas Urbig and Derry Scherhant make their debuts, Serge Gnabry returns after his injury and captains the team for the first time.

Wales (5-4-1): Ward, Dasilva, Thomas, Davies, Cabango, Williams, Cullen, Ampadu, James, James, Koumas.
Subs: Cornell, Mepham, Ashford, Burns, Johnson, Moore, Roberts, Norrington-Davies, Harris, King, Sheehan, J Colwill.

Norway (4-3-3): Nyland, Møller Wolfe, Heggem, Ajer, Ryerson, Aursnes, Berge, Ødegaard, Schjelderup, Haaland, Bobb.
Subs: Bjortuft, Ostigard, Berg, Strand Larsen, Tangvik, Selvik, Blomberg, Pedersen, Sjovold, Aasgaard, Nusa, Botheim.

Ødegaard is fit, and starts. Brennan Johnson only on the bench for Wales.

Denmark (4-2-3-1): Hermansen, Maehle, Andersen, Provstgaard, Nissen Kristensen, Højbjerg, Hjulmand, Daramy, Damsgaard, Daghim, Højlund.
Subs: Jungdal, Hogsberg, Nelsson, Froholdt, Isaksen, Jorgensen, Skov Olsen, Bidstrup, Nartey, Gaaei, Hogh, Jorgensen.

Portugal (4-3-3): Costa; Mendes, Veiga, Rúben Dias, Cancelo; Vitinha, Neves, Fernandes; Leão, Ramos, Neto.
Subs: Dalot, Araujo, Tavares, Palhinha, Bernardo Silva, Inacio, Trincao, Fabio Silva, Soares.

With Ronaldo quitting the squad, Ruben Dias is installed as captain and Leão has taken the No 7 shirt!

Really enjoyed this piece by Porto-based Miguel Dantas, who sheds some light on how Portuguese media and fans are reacting to Ronaldo walking out on Jorge Jesus’ squad.

Ronaldo’s fans are firmly behind him, defending him fiercely on social media. Much of the general public, though, feels the player has turned his back on the national team. That was the message splashed in big letters across the front page of O Jogo, one of Portugal’s leading sports newspapers.

Across the Portuguese media, most newspapers and commentators have sided with the view that Ronaldo behaved selfishly. There are, however, some voices – particularly in newspapers and television outlets in which Ronaldo is a shareholder – who have turned their criticism towards Jesus, accusing him of ingratitude and of indefensibly going back on his word.

Quite the maelstrom of international football tonight, with off-pitch drama circling many of the players involved (and one who is not).

You have to feel for new Portugal manager Jorge Jesus, a 72-year-old who knows more than most that time waits for no man, but has apparently had a hard time explaining to Cristiano Ronaldo that at the age of 41 and woefully out of form, he cannot expect to start every single game for one of the best international teams in the world.

Jesus has – at least publicly – been respectful to Ronaldo, starting him in the win over Wales and “resting” the veteran in the impressive 2-1 victory over Norway – Ronnie’s replacement, Gonçalo Ramos, scored the winner for Portugal. If that justified Jesus’ decision in many people’s eyes, it certainly didn’t go down with Ronaldo, who has now left the Portugal camp in a huff private jet (and which presumably suits Jesus just fine).

Now former Portugal manager Roberto Martínez made the mistake of staying blindly loyal to Ronaldo, keeping his captain on the pitch for the full 90 minutes in all but one of the five matches at the World Cup, and paid the price in losing his job to Jesus. Save for a couple of goals over World Cup minnows Uzbekistan – Ronaldo has only managed one goal (a penalty) and received one red card in the eight games since last November. Even if he was involved tonight against a very strong Denmark team, it is likely he would not get any closer to his 1,000 goal target. However, if Portugal lose to the Danes, the noise clamouring for Ronaldo’s return will be deafening.

Elsewhere, as the talisman of beleaguered Manchester City, all eyes will be on Erling Haaland to see if his club’s crisis is affecting his football. Wales v Norway is an intriguing game for a number of reasons, but one that Craig Bellamy could really do with winning – Wales are without a victory in nearly a year.

Jürgen Klopp’s tenure as Germany manager has gotten off to a rocky-ish start with a draw and Sunday’s home loss to Greece. The former Liverpool boss will hope for better against Serbia tonight but regrettably, it’s off-field issues that have dominated the headlines. Honestly, what is wrong with people?

Sandwiched between two controversial games against Israel, the Republic of Ireland face Austria in Dublin this evening. The 3-0 win over Israel last Sunday, went ahead after a majority of their squad voted to play on the eve of the away fixture in Hungary. Media reports indicated that the squad was fractured after the meeting and vote, and that goalkeeper Gavin Bazunu had been insulted by teammates over his decision to withdraw “as a person or principle”. The goalkeeper is available for tonight, but will not take part on Sunday in the rematch with Israel, which the Football Association ‌of Ireland has moved to Serbia behind closed doors.

So, that’s the background – some of it important, some of it less so – to at least some of tonight’s games. Let’s see if we can enjoy the footy. Seven games in total. I’ll do my best to keep abreast of all of them, but only have two eyes and two hands to type with.

Wales v Norway
Denmark v Portugal
Germany v Serbia
Republic of Ireland v Austria
Greece v Netherlands
Israel v Kosovo
Malta v Gibraltar