Arsenal moved ahead of Manchester City with a title-winning performance at Anfield, while Lisandro Martinez was *not* the biggest loser of the weekend.

It’s also November and nobody has been sacked yet. There are at least four teams poised to change that.

Premier League Winners

Mikel Arteta
First it was the moaning about the penalty Ezri Konsa conceded at Sunderland, planting the seed of doubt in referees’ minds.

Then it was the rant about other managers leaving their technical area, delivered with a righteousness that can only be summoned by the guilty.

Now Arteta has coached a defensive masterclass at Anfield, leaving the Liverpool crowd foaming with impotent rage as one of his defenders stepped in front of an opponent, waited for contact and fell over.

The dossier of evidence is becoming uncontestable: Arteta is morphing into prime Mourinho before our eyes and doesn’t give a solitary eff about footballing aesthetics.

It would be wrong to be too facetious about Arsenal’s defending; they are easily the best defensive team in world football. This is not the most marketable facet of the sport, but it’s extremely impressive in its own right and entirely necessary to give goals their meaning.

It needed to be against Liverpool, as their midfielders coughed up the ball regularly in that first half and their forward line was largely reduced to shuttle runs.

But goodness me, some of their antics must must have been taught by Severus Snape. From Jurrien Timber tugging at Alexander Isak’s shirt to Gabriel fist-bumping the ref on the way out for the second half, the Gunners’ natural habitat currently resides in the rulebook’s grey areas.

What is uncontestable, however, is that it worked. Liverpool became more disheartened as time ticked on, unable to make headway even before Arteta brought on increasingly muscular subs.

And he now has winning pedigree to silence any dissenters over his methods. Finally, the process can be fully trusted.

Arsenal probably won the 2026/27 Premier League yesterday. Pre-punishment Manchester City are faltering, Liverpool are a work in progress and the other Big Six members have a shotgun semi-permanently aimed at their own feet.

The only hope for neutrals and television executives is a final-day title showdown with everyone’s second favourite team…

Brighton
Brighton rode their luck at the Etihad. Bart Verbruggen produced the kind of performance to bore his grandkids about. And Nico O’Reilly will be receiving an early Christmas hamper from the south coast after his injury-time miss, one of several chances that went begging.

But you tend to make your own luck in life. Their winning goal was typically fluid, moving the ball across the pitch before Yasin Ayari bullied past Elliot Anderson to slot home.

Transfer fees feel increasingly dismembered from reality, but we note that Ayari (£3.5million) cost 33 times less than Anderson (£116million).

It’s not just Ayari either. Brighton are packed full of lads you wouldn’t recognise walking down the street wearing a nametag. And those names are suspiciously close to those given to Football Manager regens.

But they are the poster boys for a well-run club, self-financing and deeply impressive. If anyone can avoid the fate of others who’ve previously held that mantle (Swansea, Southampton, Leicester), it’s Brighton.

Last week’s defeat at Anfield, even without playing badly, showed Brighton’s realistic ceiling. But they’ll never get a better chance at Champions League qualification and that’s well within their grasp.

Estevao
It’s easy to show up when you’re winning. When the sun is shining. To pull out the flicks and tricks when your opponents are already dead.

Estevao did the opposite on Saturday. In his first start of the season, the youngster was Chelsea’s liveliest player by far in a rancid first-half performance from Xabi Alonso’s men.

He was the player Making Things Happen. Overall, Estevao had six shots, two goals ruled out for offside and split the Manchester United defence repeatedly with his incisive passing.

Afterwards, Alonso said: “He has had the best response to show that he deserves more, that he was prepared and that’s what you want from your players.”

At the barest of minimums, he deserves to start at Sunderland on Sunday.

Bournemouth
It’s now six wins in a row without conceding a goal, with Leeds United becoming the latest inmates of the Marco Rose penitentiary.

There wasn’t much between Bournemouth and Leeds on Saturday. The first goal was a James Trafford howler – the type to have Danny Baker smacking his lips – and the second was deep into injury time.

Anyone arguing in bad faith could say this is the third successive Premier League game where the Cherries have benefited from opposition f*ck-ups; Sunderland and Manchester United both presented them goals on bended knee.

But Bournemouth also had the superior class, with Evanilson fast becoming a leading Premier League striker.

The Brazilian has scored in his last four league games and only Erling Haaland has more than his eight goal involvements this season.

After a slow-ish start, it feels like Rose is carrying on where Iraola left off. The style of play isn’t quite as distinctive yet, but Bournemouth are purring. No mean feat, considering the Thursday-Sunday Europa League carousel is now in full swing.

Eli Junior Kroupi
That nutmeg was worth the admission fee alone.

Tottenham
Now in the nosebleed territory of eighth and finally above West Ham in the Premier League calendar year table. If that’s not a sign to start stockpiling tinned goods, then nothing is.

Logically, Spurs’ third win on the bounce was all but sealed when Jean-Philippe Mateta was sent off after 12 minutes.

But Tottenham Hotspur are possibly the anti-logical football club. None of their supporters would have been surprised if their team had toiled to a draw, booed off after creating the square root of nothing.

Instead, Roberto De Zerbi’s team patiently wore down Palace. Both full-backs were dynamic and Matheus Fernandes was excellent. It’s rare to see Tottenham players hunting in packs off the ball, but it’s another sign the basics are finally being carried out.

The joy on Archie Gray’s face after the first goal was also wonderful and well-earned for a player shunted across multiple positions in his Spurs career to date.

However false this burst of hope proves to be, De Zerbi’s Tottenham won’t be in another relegation battle.

Coventry City
Before kick-off on Saturday, Coventry and Sunderland shared the bottom two places in the Premier League table. So this was a huge three points for Frank Lampard’s men.

After being too passive against Fulham, Lampard’s team played at a much higher tempo and overwhelmed their opponents.

They haven’t drawn a game yet, but Coventry already have three wins under their belt. Solidity is nice, but it’s ultimately better to win two and lose three instead of drawing five. Whatever their fate, they’re having a go.

And a word for Caleb Yirenkyi too, surely one of the signings of the season. His positional sense is off the scale. Somebody will end up paying big money for a midfielder like that.

Alvaro Arbeloa
Yes, we’d assumed Arbeloa would be licking his wounds in Madrid by now. Conceding two injury-time goals at Ipswich last month stunk of relegation.

But it’s now three undefeated for Fulham, a well-earned draw at Aston Villa building on wins over Hull and Coventry.

And Arbeloa has been bypassed in the sack race by Michael Carrick and the three bosses currently sitting in the relegation zone.

It’s also pleasing to see Oscar Bobb playing with verve. His stop-start style of dribbling has been compared to Sadio Mane on social media, which would normally elicit eye-rolls from us.

But it’s refreshing to see a winger checking back and recycling possession out of fear of their own shadow and a b*llocking from the in-house data team.

Julio Enciso
As a rule, the Premier League squatting over European football like an obese toad isn’t a good thing

But a player of Enciso’s quality playing for newly-promoted Ipswich is a joy. He belongs in the Champions League, starring for Betis or Como. It wasn’t long ago we were concerned he’d be swallowed up by the BlueCo brains trust.

Our resident Ipswich fan has waxed lyrical about Enciso after his thunderous strike at Hull. You should read it.

Premier League Losers

Aston Villa
Much like exploding in jealous rage when a random in the street eyes up your fiancee, Villa’s reaction to Jamie Carragher’s korma-strength comments has exposed their greatest insecurity.

‘Aston Villa will not allow anyone to stop our ascension in English and European football,’ read the most telling line in their crackers statement. But the truth is that just one thing will stop this ‘ascension’ – the departure of Unai Emery.

Emery has built a club entirely in his image. The backroom team are all Emery allies and the transfers are all Emery picks. Even the type of gravel on the training ground driveway has probably been tailored to meet Emery’s satisfaction.

This is now rare in the Premier League, where managers are essentially front-of-house patsies. It’s not outlandish to suggest Villa would fall away without their messianic manager and the club’s hierarchy knows it.

Hence why they bought a bazooka to a parish council meeting. Villa have no legal ground to stand on and don’t care that everyone can see they’ve taken a sh*t with their clothes on.

Because this is the direction of travel now, large organisations using their wealth to silence dissenting opinion. To make the recipient feel cowed into submission. Even someone as high-profile as Carragher caved.

At least a large section of their supporters had the decency to feel embarrassed. Dropping two points to Fulham was also sub-optimal.

Jamie Carragher
We’re sending out a search party for his backbone.

Lisandro Martinez
Defecated in public for the second time in October. While there was some honour in calling out Dear Leader Wilcox and his transfer dealings, there was none in barging Wesley Fofana in the penalty area seconds after being booked.

No wonder Carrick blanked his defender as he sloped off. The Athletic’s Michael Cox has argued Martinez has been the Premier League’s worst player this season (he’s certainly one of the worst of the week) and it’s hard to disagree.

He doesn’t want to be there and United presumably want rid too. Given INEOS and their track record, it’s all leading up to a mandatory 12-month contract extension for spreadsheet purposes.

Crystal Palace
Palace are not quite bottom, but the feeling of melancholy is starting to become all-encompassing.

Their FA Cup and Conference League triumphs have satiated the wildest dreams of Palace supporters. But that is now accompanied by the knowledge that nothing will ever be as good as the recent past.

The performance at Spurs was not one that suggested players have downed tools for Pierre Sage, with the exception of Mateta who wanted out under Oliver Glasner too.

Instead, the starting XI simply doesn’t look good enough. The best players have been sold and now there’s Dwight McNeil at No.10 and Axel Disasi in a back three.

Sage will go, but Palace look stuck in a doomloop that ends with the resumption of hostilities with Charlton Athletic.

Sunderland
Getting increasingly strong Sheffield United vibes from Sunderland, a refreshing first season back in the Premier League followed by one where reality hits you square between the eyes.

In truth, the signs were there. It’s well-documented Sunderland’s xG ratings last year were more befitting of a relegated team, while they finished 7th on the lowest points tally since Fulham in 2008-09.

Europa League football is a hindrance, albeit a life-affirming one for supporters, but it’s not the excuse Regis Le Bris claimed it to be after losing at Coventry.

“We are exposed this season with this busy schedule,” Le Bris said. “It’s really demanding.

“Is it unexpected? I don’t think so. Many clubs last year experienced exactly the same situation. First year in Europe, you know you will have on average 10 fewer points. It’s our reality.”

Sunderland’s defence has gone from one of the Premier League’s strongest to one of its leakiest, badly missing Dan Ballard.

They continually make errors, as proven by Coventry’s first two goals on Saturday, and Omar Alderete’s injury-time red card was pathetic.

Attacking flurries are also coming too little and too late in games. The Black Cats are officially in Fear For Them territory.

Bradley Barcola
Liverpool’s performance against Arsenal looked promising at surface level, but look closer and none of their starting front six had good games.

Alexis Mac Allister’s play-acting made your dad choke on his roast potatoes. And Trey Nyoni should have been sent off in the first 10 minutes, even if he composed himself afterwards.

Florian Wirtz is marching firmly into Grealish territory, neat and tidy without coming close to justifying his £100million price tag. Cody Gakpo was ineffectual and Alexander Isak was too nice.

But the most concerning display was Barcola’s. Here was the summer’s statement signing in a big match, essentially confirming himself as a counter-attacking merchant.

There were a few promising dribbles, but none of the wit and invention needed to unlock Arsenal’s defence.

He would have thrived at Ole’s United, but how often will he be gifted that kind of space? Liverpool have invested a lot of money and their fans would be forgiven for starting to think ‘is this it?’

Nottingham Forest
Just six goals in nine Premier League games now for Forest, who’ve failed to score in five of those matches. Defeat at Brentford followed a familiar pattern, with chances created and not taken.

And that was before Oliver Glasner’s tub-thumping/sack-baiting interview. You’d think Mad Marinakis is licking his lips and preparing for Glasner to be served in a pitta with tzatziki sauce.

But maybe the Forest owner should be grilling himself for spending £50million on Liam Delap, who was once again ineffectual.

Many fans have concerns over a lack of a Plan B from Glasner, but it’s also hard to work out what Plan A is either.

Forest have the players for a 4-2-3-1 system, but instead it’s three at the back and Morgan Gibbs-White out of position. It’s all so passive and Manchester City visit the City Ground next…

Manchester City
And City need a result after two successive defeats.

‘Need’ might be a stretch, considering this is a hypernormalised Premier League where everyone is carrying on as normal despite the guilty verdict.

But have the City players hit a wall? Has Maresca himself been coasting off Pep’s tactics? Are his team becoming worse the more Maresca’s influence takes hold, as it did at Chelsea?

They need a punishment to be announced, just to have something to rail against.

Leeds United
There’s a danger of Leeds becoming overrated – they’ve won just two of nine league games this season.

Lack of oomph did for them at Bournemouth, never recovering from the combination of Dominic Calvert-Lewin’s disallowed goal and James Trafford’s error.

Ultimately, this is a season of consolidation. Leeds should do just that as there has never been a team more destined to finish 12th in Premier League history.

Ian Wright and Declan Rice
In any other week, Rice would be top of the winners column. It’s not the first time he’s been Man of the Match at Anfield, going back to his West Ham days.

But we cannot ignore him advertising those Meta pervert glasses. And we’re equally disappointed with Ian Wright for joining him.